As we go through life, we all accumulate stuff—art work,
knickknacks, souvenirs and gifts of various shapes and sizes, kitchen gadgets,
tools, children’s old school papers. The
Yiddish word “tchotchke” captures the haphazard collection of objects that
graces nearly every surface in our house and fills our storage areas. Through the convergence of recent events in
our lives, we are taking a new look at our clutter.
After her mother died in May, Judy had the job of clearing
out her apartment. For those of you who
had the opportunity to visit Avis in her home, you probably remember the
decorations—picture arrangements on the walls, display cases filled with
objects that evoked memories for her, décor items on table tops and fireplace
mantles. The apartment was not
cluttered—everything was neatly arranged, but it was definitely full.
For many people, these objects are mementos of a time and
place, a link to moments in our past. Downsizing
often means stripping away many of these objects, particularly when people are
moving into assisted living or other specialized housing. When Avis moved from her condo into the
addition we built onto our house, and which she helped design, she was pleased
that she did not have to get rid of much of her stuff, because besides her two
room apartment plus room-size closet on the main floor, there was a three room
apartment below her that she filled with pictures, tchotchkes and
furniture. For the seven years she lived
with us she was comfortably surrounded with her own belongings.
Another reason people hold on to these various objects is to
pass them down to children and grandchildren.
When Judy began sorting through things after Avis’s death, she contacted
her siblings and all of Avis’s grandchildren to see if they wanted any of the
pictures, knickknacks or furniture. A
couple of the grandchildren were interested in an item or two, which Judy
shipped off to them, but there was little interest overall. A recent New York Times article described a
similar story, that children of baby boomers have little interest in the furniture
or stuff of their parents, even heirlooms such as fine china that may have some
value.
Following Avis’s death, we also began re-evaluating our own situation. We asked ourselves if two people really
needed a house with 7 bedrooms and 6 ½ baths.
The house is full during the holidays with our children and
grandchildren, and we have occasional visits from them and from friends during
the year, but otherwise it’s just the two of us. We had talked about moving closer to our youngest
son and his family, and so we decided to put the house up for sale. We will be downsizing, possibly even into an
apartment while we take the time to decide upon a new house.
That decision brought us face-to-face with our own
Tchotchkes. The down side of a big
house is that there are lots of places to store things conveniently out of
sight. We asked our kids what they might
want, and there was little interest, even for treasures of theirs we had saved
for years such as legos and baseball cards.
So we have begun to sort and ask ourselves—Is this something we
need? Some objects have sentimental
value, for example, a glass elephant we bought in Murano over 20 years ago, but
most of it is just a tchotchke, occupying space but with no functional value or
meaning.
So we have decided to make a fresh start. We will get rid of anything that doesn’t
“speak” to us and most of the furniture, taking only the basics. The furniture we carefully selected for this
house is unlikely to fit well in our next house. Besides, we like the idea of getting new
furniture and not being weighed down by lots of stuff. We will still have photos and some objects
with special meaning, but we don’t need nearly as much as we have now. We have moved some things out already (we’re
kind of waiting for Goodwill to ask us to stop coming) and will do the rest
when the house sells.
We bought this house ten years ago, and it has served us
well as we transitioned into grandparenthood, and as a touchstone for our adult
children to be able to gather together.
And it allowed Judy’s mother to have what she called her own “long term
care insurance”…her apartment here. But
now it’s time for us to move on and for another family to pick up the baton.
If you know anyone who wants a 7 bedroom, 6 ½ bath house
that can accommodate lots of people and things, send them our way.
Reference: Tom Verde,
“Aging Parents with Lots of Stuff, and Children Who Don’t Want It.” The New
York Times, https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/18/your-money/aging-parents-with-lots-of-stuff-and-children-who-dont-want-it.html
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